it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
