there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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