Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Congratulations! We have a period
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