At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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