can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
