Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
