Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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