they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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