you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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