I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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