i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
