How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How external is "for external use only"?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Randomize
