I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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