I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize