wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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