I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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