dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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