I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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