Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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