Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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