Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
