His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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