Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
