I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize