New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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