Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
