I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
