if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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