When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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