I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
