That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
