I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
