The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
