You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
