I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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