pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
