Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
