Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
