Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Come see our sink grown plant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
