Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
