Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
