There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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