It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
