i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
