we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
