He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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