I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
