this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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