she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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