Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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