but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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