so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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