Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
