how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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