you're like a bully in the Christmas story
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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