dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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