so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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