Cold hands, warm shart.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
