Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
