I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There r osticjed everywhere
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
