I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
