left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
