Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
