My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
