Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm both gender and math confused
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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