I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
