Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
did i just pee glitter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize