My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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