she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
