You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize