After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
