Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
