Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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