You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
