Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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